That night.. in 2009

"another sleepless night

a cold, cloudy, calm night. the rainbow colours moving, jumping across the white wall. rugging up, going for a walk. discovering the golf course in the middle of the city - at the end of the street, down by the creek. magical!!

laying down in the moist grass, watching the trees, sensing you right next to me. the city noises swallowed by nature.

listening to your breathing, looking at the patterns the trees form, the colours emerging, drifting off - the occasional star in the sky.

after an eternity that didn't seem long enough back to the city, the bright lights and the noises.

back to your house, your colourful white, breathing walls, the safety of your bed.

laying there, with you. next to you. our hands finding each other. this is the truth. this has always been there. it feels so good, it is so wrong.

but.. i let it happen anyway. before - hours later - i peel myself out of your bed - and.. ride home. in the bright morning sun, fog lining the streets.

happy but guilty.

will we ever be friends again?"

12:14 a.m. - 2014-04-09